Lucy Lime

So most all of you know I was married before. If you didn’t, I was. He is a marvelous human being and I adore him so this will be the only time I point out a HUGE wrongdoing on his part. He is on the right in the picture above. Don’t ask, I know they both look sunburnt and greasy. They must have been sunbathing in baby oil earlier in the day while me and Gabs were cooking and cleaning and taking care of all the children.

There was a time I really wanted a Britney Spears CD. I really, really wanted it. I put it on my Christmas List and everything. My former husband told me that there was no way he was going to go into Media Play, look for that CD, stand in line with it, and actually buy it. It all boiled down to a man not being seen with that. Ok. He would buy tampons and stuff because they were obviously not for him but heaven forbid someone think a Britney Spears CD was his!!!

He has matured greatly since then. At least for the sake of my sis-in-law.

Knowing that my husband was not going to man up and buy me Britney Spears, I asked my pseudo-husband for it. Pseudo is a gay male, a few years older than me and has been in my life for years. YEARS. Like I met him before my first husband and I got hitched. He loves me as much as any real hubby, so I told him about wanting the CD.

“Really?” was all he could ask while erupting in very nervous giggles. He apparently was not comfortable enough in his gayness to buy it. I can’t tell you how many clubs I went to or how many Long Island Iced Teas I drank for that man and he would not buy it either!!!!!?

Neither man in my life bought me that CD. My mom did, though. She picked me up a copy when she bought one for my seven year old niece.

Shut up. Bitches.

So why do I love Jeff Craft? He has put up with me for a while now. Even though he agrees with Jesse on numerous things, he has less of a sense of shame.

When I told him I wanted the new Spice Girls CD only available at Victoria’s Secret until January 15th, he didn’t even flinch. Nope, not a single flinch. In fact, I have since found out he tried to go there to get me a copy but waited in line for 30 minutes only to fight with an enormous woman who cut in line.

So, no CD, but the effort was there. And I truly love him for emasculating himself for the love of the Spice Girls his wife.

Empty handed, yet he took one for the team. I have never known such love.