Lucy Lime

You might have heard me say many times over that my mother is a liar. A mean, nasty liar. But, do not let me get started on the whole "Mom's famous, totally invented, best peanut butter fudge recipe in the whole wide world" fiasco. It is too painful a lie to relive at the moment. Let's just leave it at her being a known liar.

So isn't my dead grandma. Yeah, I know that sounds mean, but god knows I loved that woman. This woman made the most delicious biscuits in the WORLD. They have only been duplicated on a few occasions, namely, immediately after she taught me how to make them. During the move from New Mexico to Ohio, the most regrettable experience in so many ways, the recipe got lost. I have tried and tried to recreate it over the last few years and even begged her to share it again. She would have loved to but her memory started to fail her and thus, the recipe, unless I can find it in the chaos of my cooking records, is lost to the culinary world forever. And ever.

So, back to her being a liar. I had a kick ass visit with good old Maw back in November of 2007. Such a wonderful visit that I am blessed that it is my last memory of hanging out with her. We discussed the biscuits and my sorrow and she asked me why I just didn't get the recipe off of the back of the bag of Gold Medal, self-rising flour.

Yeah. She asked that.

Well, gee, granny. I guess I would do that but this was supposed to be your recipe. You know, the recipe that I grew up watching you make? Watching you measure ingredients out merely by eying them? You know, the biscuit you learned how to make as a young woman?

How in the hell was I supposed to know that Gold Medal flour has been around as long as dirt and your mom got the recipe off of the back of the bag?

Of course, over the years it has been tweaked here and there, kind of like an old story that gains and loses some of the original details. Still, I had no idea and I am left remembering my lovely dead grandma as the lying, recipe switcher that she really was.

Hmmm.....maybe I should forgive my mom for the Peanut Butter Fudge lie. I mean, she comes by this honestly.

Anyway, all this was brought on by a discussion me and a professor about the Pillsbury Bake-Off Winner. Apparently you can submit recipes to their contest every year for a chance to win a million dollar prize. And, of course, the opportunity to be a known ass-kicking baker.

Peanut butter cookies won out this year. I got the recipe and plan to make them this weekend. My men love peanut butter cookies and I'd like to be able to take some in to work and see if they really are worth on million dollars.

Stay tuned for my results.

Labels: cookies, grandma, liars, mom, peanut butter, Pillsbury, recipes

I recently got the movie, Waitress, courtesy of my wondrous Netflix account. It was Adrienne Shelly's debut, and final, film. She died before it came out. I do not want to be a downer, so I will get to the title of this blog entry. Follow the link to learn about her, if you are interested.

The main character in the film is a pie maker, both sweet and savory. To help deal with her stresses and anxiety, she will quietly breathe and come up with pie ideas in her head. (Kinda like a form of meditation.) In one scene, she finds out she is pregnant with her miserable husband's baby and she feel lost. This ruins her escape plan. She immediately thinks up a pie entitled, "I don't want Earl's Baby Pie."

Silly name. And with my luck, the pie I remember is probably some other silly name. But for now, we'll go with my weird memory.

She takes a pie crust and makes a bottom layer of brie. She puts a mound of ham in the center and pours egg mixture over.

As soon as I saw this I knew I wanted to make it.

Unfortunately, I have been sick, can't taste anything, and haven't got out to the store. Hubby is making me leave the house today and is taking me out. The last thing I want to do is move but I know I will feel better and do need to get out.

Damn husbands.

Anyway, I am planning on making it tomorrow. Hope it does not turn out like the biscuits I made last night. They were total shit and I followed that recipe to a T. It was from allcooks or something. I used to make the bestest biscuits in the world. It was my grandma's recipe. We moved and I can't find it to save my life. I am beside myself with heartbreak.

Sad thing is, it is only four ingredients but I cannot remember the proportions.

Labels: flim, grandma, recipes